A Mother’s Worry and Anxiety: How to stop it
Mother’s Worry and Anxiety is normal
Worry and anxiety in motherhood is something that does get talked about, but not enough in my opinion. It is important to break the silence and TALK about mental health openly and honestly. Especially in motherhood. A Mother’s Worry and Anxiety is completely and totally normal, and rational!
If this topic is something that you feel alone on, I can assure you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We can all work together in the community of motherhood to overcome fears of worry and anxiety. We are a team, us moms, and we always have each other to talk to, and listen to.
It’s not only during postpartum
Not only is anxiety, depression and worry a thing in postpartum, it can be for… forever. In my case, I have always been a worrywart. Anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses are in my family history, which means it is just in my blood. It’s a switch that is always on, and really really difficult to turn off. But it can be done.
As a mother, it has gotten better, yet so much worse at the same time. I am basically in a constant state of worry. There are new things every day that spark anxiety and panic attacks. Something as simple as “did I tighten his car seat enough” will cause me to pull over on the side of the road and double check. Peace of mind is one thing that has kept my motherhood worry at bay.
A Mother’s Worry and Anxiety wastes a lot of time
Here is something that is important to share with all of you mothers. I mean…think about how much time Mother’s Worry and Anxiety takes? I mean, how much time do you spend worrying each day? Has any of that worrying ever accomplished anything positive in your life? The quick, simple, and easy answer is NO! Absolutely not. And in the end, everything ends up just fine, doesn’t it?
Imagine what you could do with all of that time and energy free from worry. Imagine how much happier and how much more comfortable you would be if you could minimize the amount of time you spend worrying each day. You would be able to spend more time working on staying calm and spending quality time with your kids!
Worrying is a habit that we believe is helpful in some way, but it’s easy to see that worrying only has a negative effect and triggers anxiety, depression and other mental states that no mother should ever have to go through alone. Let’s talk strategies to lessen this worry and cope with anxiety.
Lessen Mother’s Worry and Anxiety with these 5 tips
Look at the BIG picture
Think of the big picture. According to scientists, there are around 100 million billion stars in the universe. Those stars are believed to have one or more planets revolving around them. That’s a lot of freaking planets. This universe is seriously huge.
Our fears are more real to us, and most of the time they are justifiable. However, there are times where if you look at the big picture, those fears and worries are so minute and the chances of them coming true are little to none.
Be as optimistic as you can
Naturally with worry and anxiety, as a mother, you assume the worst. It can be difficult to see the positive side and expect a positive outcome. If you are as prepared for the worst as you can but still see the positive outcome, your worry will lessen and anxiety will subside. The natural worry that you have isn’t going to change the outcome, so assume it’s positive, rather than negative.
Instead of worrying about what might happen or could have happened, focus on the positive aspects of the now and know that “could have, would have, should have” is a thing of the past and you cannot change it. It was fine then, it’s fine now, and we can move onto the next thing. You have worried about an awful lot of things in the past, and you are still here. Everyone is doing great, and you moved through it with the support of your family and friends.
Control: Know what you can and can’t control
A Mother’s Worry and anxiety tend to take over, and we, as mothers, spend a lot of time worrying about things we can’t change. If the kids are at daycare, we can’t change what they are doing. If they are sick with a cold or flu bug, we can’t make it go away because it just needs to run its course. So what’s the point in wasting that time worrying about it? Let go of the things you can’t control. Do what you can do now to help.
It’s like the weather. You can’t control most of the things you worry about any more than you can control the weather. Enjoy it in the moment, and hold on to it while it lasts because those kids will be all grown up before you know it, and each stage comes with a new thing to worry about. Bite it in the butt now, before it gets too out of hand. Learn how to control the worry and anxiety, or at least help lessen it, so your coping strategies become natural to you.
Be in the here and NOW
Pay attention to what you’re doing right now. Avoid thinking about tomorrow or even what happened yesterday. Make the best use of your time each moment and the future will take care of itself.
Dr. Suess says: “Today was good, Today was fun, tomorrow is another one”. He nailed that one… these are your new words to live by! Make your days fun with family and friends, keep yourself busy by getting out of the house and going to do things that you enjoy doing! Bring the family with, go on a walk, to the park or out to eat. Have fun in the moment, and always make plans to get out and do it again!
Count your blessings
Know that what you have is what you have created. You made these kids, and you made this life for yourself. You are lucky and blessed in so many ways. If it helps to write it down, get yourself a journal and put it by your nightstand. Write down what your blessings are and what you are thankful for each night before bed. Worry lessens, and sleep becomes easier knowing that you got this. This is good. There is no need to worry or be anxious.
Get your time back
It’s all easier said than done, this I know. I live it on a daily basis. But coming to realize and know that any time spent worrying is wasted time, helps to make sure that we work on living in the moment. Spend more time and reconnect with your kids using these tricks!
Do your best to at least lessen the worry. Life is short and worrying can be debilitating. It can take away the fun that you have with your family and friends. Take small steps each day, and you will then form a habit of worrying less. Remember to talk to friends and family about your worry, about your fears and anxiety. Do not hold back, and do not hold it in. It is important for your family to know and understand what your thoughts are, and to you, they are completely rational. They are there to help.
You are here. It is now. It is time to enjoy the little things in life, one day at a time.