FOMO is a real thing, and it’s even more real when it pertains to motherhood.
We recently went to a neighbors house to visit. They will be taking our 3-year-old to a Birthday party with them on the weekend since dad works and I have an event to attend to.
This is a great example of FOMO – Fear of Missing Out during Motherhood, and I didn’t realize it until my husband said something.
It’s so fun when you’re there!
We had fun hanging out. The boys did great with the neighbor girls and they do know each other, they played a few times outside during the nice warm summer months.
Now that it is getting cold, everyone pretty much stays inside. So now we just don’t see each other that often. We ate dinner with them that night and played and chatted. It was a fun impromptu weeknight get together!
It gave the boys a chance to warm up and for our oldest to remember the neighbor’s mom that would be taking him to his friend’s birthday party since mom and dad are both busy. Dad would be ready to pick him up from the party and that did make him feel a lot better and more comfortable.
We put on our coats and headed home across the street after about an hour and a half. The boys were pumped to see dad at home waiting for them!
So we walked in the door and took off our gear (it’s starting to freeze in MN, ew!) The boys play, mom and dad chat about our days, and then the question comes….
When your significant other picks up on it
“Hunny, are you okay? You seem distraught?”
My answer: “Yup! I’m good!” When really, my anxious self is thinking… “I’m sending our 3-year-old with people he doesn’t really actually know. He’s kind of shy. I’m nervous”
He said no, I will not take “I’m okay” for an answer, something is wrong and you need to talk to me about it. So he waited patiently until I told him that it’s pretty ridiculous but I’m nervous about sending our toddler with someone other than us to this Birthday party.
He was encouraging, helpful, and made me feel better by the end of our conversation. We do know the people our toddler is going with, and he is a big boy, he is not 6 months old anymore and it will be okay. By the end of the day, which is only a short 6 or so hours away, we will all be eating dinner together at home.
So I just told myself, and remembered, that is a few hours and honestly worrying never helped anyone. Will I miss out on seeing him have a blast? Probably, but that cannot and WILL NOT hold me back from letting our baby have fun with his friends!
It is a positive thing for him and will help him to come out of his shell. Time to let him go, mama, even though he is only 3… it is time to let him go and enjoy himself with friends. He will always need his mama and the fact that he can do things without his mama needs to be accepted. (We’re a ways away from that yet).
Mondays are hard – they are the WORST for FOMO – Fear of Missing Out
Every Monday morning comes after a fun-filled weekend with the family. Then we need to let them go to daycare for the day, where they learn and grow and make friends but somehow I still dread every single Monday morning.
I do this by telling myself that it is good for both me and them! They need those friends, and they need to learn how to let someone else care for them other than mom, even though I’d much rather be the one doing it.
The million-dollar question is how do we fix this feeling of FOMO – fear of missing out during motherhood?
As a mother, there will always be that small part of us that will have that fear but the three biggest things that can help are:
3 Ways to Handle FOMO
1. Time apart once in a while is important for BOTH mom and the kids.
Mama, you deserve (and more importantly) NEED a break from your kids! Self-care is important. It will reset you, and increase your ability to stay patient and calm in stressful situations.
Kids love to be independent and they do need to learn at some point, so why not start early and start with baby steps! They should be able to take instruction from others well and listen.
The best thing we have done is to take time for ourselves every once in a while (we should do it FAR MORE often). But in doing this, our kids listen to others well, follow instructions by people who are NOT mom and dad.
They do have a meltdown occasionally, every kid does, but it is so important for them to know and experience a world that is so much bigger than inside the walls of their own home. It is good…and healthy, for BOTH of you.
2. The fact that you are aware of FOMO – means you will never miss out.
Acknowledging that you may have a slight case of FOMO – Fear of Missing Out means you are aware of it and you can be proactive in doing something about it!
It means that you know you are frightened to miss something. Keep it in the back of your mind that it is a real thing, and it is okay. But do not let it hold you back, which brings us to number three.
3. Living in fear, can hold you back – don’t let it
Fear as it relates to FOMO during motherhood, with friends and family or fear of anything will hold you back from doing what you love, doing what might be fun, and may even hold you back from succeeding. Don’t let it.
FOMO can make you TRULY miss out, and we would not want that, now would we?
It’s your life… Live it
Time to let go, and soak up the moments. Do not let the fear of missing out get in the way of you doing that with your children. When there is too much going on, and fear is getting the best of you, just remember to stay calm and take a breath.
You got this mama, and this fear of missing out might always be there, but you can take action NOW to not let it prevent you from doing the fun things that you love with your kids. Enjoy a good read in finding the joy of missing out.
While you are there, check out my eBook on kindle relating to time management. We are so busy and so scared to miss out on things with our children it is difficult to keep it all straight and manage our time!
It is a phase and this too shall pass.
Hang in there mama, and remember that you are NOT ALONE in this, and there are so many other mamas out there that want to help and support each other. Become a part of our group and join us mama’s in our supportive and helpful community!