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This here… is the most difficult balance to find, if there is even such thing as finding balance between caring for yourself and others? Is the mom guilt worth it? How do you find time to promote self care and NOT feeling guilty about it!? Do you feel like if you take some time for yourself, then you instantly have mom guilt? YES HERE! I want to share some small easy things that can help you to relax, care for yourself once in a while… and TRY to not have the mom guilt! Let’s start small and talk about how to eliminate mom guilt with 5 tips and tricks.
Step 1. How to Eliminate Mom Guilt
Take a Bath, and do NOT feel guilty about it! Grab some Epsom salts, lavender oil and make yourself a bath with a nice glass of wine. Here’s the secret… to do this after kids go down to bed…. this eliminates the mom guilt! Kids are sleeping and a significant other can handle sleeping children JUST FINE! So relax, put the phone away, and read a book. I’ve already shared some of my favorite reads with you! So this is something that takes about 30 minutes, after the kids to go bed, and is considered self care. You are free of mom guilt because the kids aren’t even awake! Fancy that!
Step 2. Getting trickier! Make time for a shower!
Now, the morning workout and/or cup of coffee is a little different. It is hard to squeeze it all in. While you are trying to get ready for work or get out and do something with the family, it might seem impossible to squeeze in alone time in the morning! Let me tell you mama… it’s okay to put the kids down on the bathroom floor, or in the bedroom (lock them in if they are too young!) and take a shower. Hygiene = self care. Silly, I know. Mom’s always joke about not being able to shower for days on end… there’s actually not really an excuse for that, it’s a harsh mom truth…because you can make the time to shower. You being clean will help you to feel good! And better yet, if you have a significant other or friend who can pop over for a few minutes to let you shower, seriously take it! Find your kids’ favorite toy (we use magnatiles… it keeps the kids busy for at least 20 minutes!) And set them on the bathroom floor to take that shower.
Step 3. Make time for fitness and exercise
We talk about finding time for fitness a lot. Even just walking is so important, kids or no kids. Get up and move, take a walk. Use a fitbit to track your AT LEAST 10000 steps per day. Fitbits are cheaper than the crazy smart watches out there these days, and it will motivate you to stay on track. As little as 10 minutes of moderate exercise per day will help you to feel more energized and get you on track to being healthier every day! So, find 10 minutes, and just do it. Stop sitting around waiting for “the right time”. The right time is now my friend…. right. NOW! (Wait, finish reading these tips first!!!!) Because there are 2 more ways on how to eliminate mom guilt!
Step 3 on How to Eliminate Mom Guilt – remember it won’t ever ALL go away
In all honesty, mom guilt will always be there and it will never go away. I have found that if I can be PRESENT with my kids when they are with me, and awake… it helps to eliminate that mom guilt. This has been said before, but put the phone down. Turn off the TV and leave the cleaning until later. Read a book with your babe, play with a puzzle or color! (coloring is proven to reduce stress, believe it or not!) I have an adult coloring book and LOVE IT! There is something calming about all of those little lines and colors. 🙂
Step 4. It’s okay to leave the kids for an overnight
When it comes time for you, and when you are comfortable leaving the kids overnight, do it. Now, for me… there is a whole bunch of guilt that I missed a night. But in reality, they just ate and slept and then it was time to pick them up again. Plus, THEY HAVE A BLAST in new places with new people and new things. This allows you to spend time with friends, family and your significant other. You will not miss out on anything, read on FOMO here! Taking a night away also allows you to unplug and unwind for a night. Take that night off from the kids to binge watch movies and shows, eat a bunch of popcorn and go to bed early, sleep in late. In the morning, there will be no cries to wake you, and no little humans sprinting into your room begging you to get up. Turn on the news in the morning and drink that nice WARM cup of coffee. It will be time to pick up the kids soon enough. Putting things into perspective is HUGE. Lets say you decide to do one overnight every two months, right? Remember this:
There are 168 hours in one week. 8,736 hours in one year. an overnight is approximately lets say 20 hours… every two months? 120 hours per year out of a total of 8,736… this is about .015 hours per year you are without the kids. Crazy, right? In the scheme of things… that one night is so SMALL! So, next time you feel guilty for taking care of yourself and spending a night to do WHAT YOU WANT TO DO… just remember, it is only about 1/70th of the year.
Step 5. Never compare yourself
We can go on and on about mom guilt, and a post will follow about the mom guilt from feeling inadequate and comparing yourself to other moms. But for now… just don’t do that. Never EVER compare yourself to other mom’s. I have news for you… some might look like they have it all together, but they do NOT have it all together. More to come on this later.
Go take that bath, and drink that wine mama. And don’t feel guilty doing it. Cheers with that wine glass, Mama! Cheers.